My Old Life is Knocking at My Door - When I Grow Up

My Old Life is Knocking at My Door - When I Grow Up On Sunday, July 8th, I sang an original song and accompanied myself on my ukulele in front of 1,000 people at the World Domination Summit. I havent performed in a theater that big since, oh, 2002-ish. I was nervous/excited all weekend, but when I got backstage, I was home. The song itself was 1:45 (yes, I timed it), but I was on stage for almost 3 minutes because I had to stop twice (twice!) for laughs/applause/cheers. Photo by Armosa Studios On Saturday, July 14th, I went to see Bring It On: The Musical! on Broadway (yes really) to celebrate a close friends birthday. When the show was over, I realized that my vocal performance teacher from my freshman year at NYU was seated 2 people over. I hesitated for just a moment before calling her name, assuming she wouldnt remember me but wanting to reach out anyway. Mana? I called. She turned and looked at me a bit blankly. You wont remember me, but thats OK. I was in your vocal performance class about 15 years ago She cut me off. Michelle Solomon! I almost fell over. Yes! Ohmygosh, how do you remember me?! Your class was so special, and I still think of you every time I hear Spark of Creation.' Thinking of Mana, her smile, her warmth, the fact that she remembered me 15 (!!!) years later and the specific song I sang in her class (15 years ago!!!!)well, lets just say that it touched me that night and is making me teary-eyed as I write this now. Mana and I last weekend On Monday, July 16th, I went to a free class at the New York Public Library that my ukulele teacher was leading. I hadnt taken class since my boob cancer diagnosis in November, and I was excited to get back into it. A crowd was forming outside the locked door, waiting for someone to let us in, and here comes my friend Alissa. Alissa and I took vocal performance class (a different vocal performance class than Manas I took lots of em for years!) and she got me cast in a show she was in, oh, 7-ish years ago. Havent really seen her since, once I fell off the audition block. We hugged and caught up and played our ukes next to each other, and she was sweet enough to lend me her automatic tuner when my damn E string didnt wanna stay in tune. She talked about her gigs and her cabaret show and her puppets and I sighed. I miss My Old Life. Not entirely. Not the auditions. Not the late rehearsal nights. Not the early morning cattle calls. Not the eternal travel and laughable paychecks and pavement pounding. Certainly not the youre-just-so-unique-and-talented-but-we-dont-know-what-to-do-with-you rejection I was used to. But I miss the butterflies. I miss what happens to my body when Im singing. I miss feeling the high I get when an audience laughs at/with me. I miss applause, my favorite currency. My Old Life keeps knocking on my door, and Im slowly stewing over how I wanna let it in.